Ode to Liberty

So when we moved into this place our landlord said we were to have no pets. So I had a hard time figuring out what to do with her. I wanted to give her to a loving home but the time seemed to fly and we were moved into the house pretty quick. I thought about how we had her outside in North Carolina and she stayed around the house pretty close. But I was scared cuz Arizona is vastly different. We live in a very rural/country area (dirt roads and animals). But what else could I do? So we just put her outside and left food and water on the poarch. We saw her for 2 days and then nothing for the next 5. I figured her for dead but it didn't sadden me for some reason. Maybe cuz it wasn't in proximity to me or I didn't actually see her body
But then tonight, as we got home from church and were about to close the door, she meowed and we all gathered around the door only to find she was missing an eye. First of all I started to cry (me and my stupid womanly emotions) which in turn made the girls cry. Jeremy was beside himself cuz all us girls were crying and then the girls started screaming/crying saying "Liberty dropped her eyeball" and "Liberty's scary, I don't like her". Jeremy brought her inside and when she walked toward the girls in the living room they screamed and ran to their room. We got her into her carrier and Jeremy made some calls. It would cost almost $900 to have a animal medic come to the house, administer first aid (what he could) and then transport her to a Tucson Animal Hospital. No way. I don't have that kind of money! When he called the AH in Tucson they said it was an emergency and if we could bring her in to be seen because there could be an infection and could go up into her brain if untreated. But then, what was going to be the cost of that? The gas alone would be about $50 round trip, plus the Dr cost and the cost of medicines and crap like that. I told Jeremy I couldn't make the decision. So he did. Right now he's gone with his friend Mike to make Liberty pain-free and I sit here and bawl my eyes out and write this. But it's better than letting her be in pain or letting her go into the wild again to just get killed or attacked again.I don't know that animals really have souls, but I hope Ginita is right and we will see our beloved pets again in Heaven. My little "Lib Lib" will be missed...